When you’re looking for a change in your life, there is the temptation to fixate on an approaching moment in the future and ascribe to that moment all the qualities you wish you had now.
When I was seven, I wanted so badly to be a Pathfinder! Both my eleven-year old brother and nine-year old sister were Pathfinders (they let her in early)…I wanted in too! I thought that if I were a Pathfinder, then my two older siblings would include me more in their conversations and stuff.
When I was in secondary school, I could hardly wait to turn 16 so I could get my ID, passport and, driver’s license. These things represented freedom to me. I’d be old enough to have a boyfriend, get a car and leave the country…not that any of these things would necessarily happen – but just that I’d have the freedom to do so if I so chose.
When I was in college, I could hardly wait to turn 25. Twenty-five seemed so perfect! No more surcharges on your car insurance! That meant people trusted you more, right. I mean, I thought of myself as a pretty responsible 20-something year old, but apparently you had to hit 25 before the rest of the world thought of you as such.
When I finished college, I fixated on 30. Thirty would be the year when it would all make sense. By 30, I’d have my life all figured out – where I’d live, what I’d do, who I’d marry. As a 30-something year old, I’d finally be respected as a legit adult. I’d have sorted through my mess and have emerged as a confident, competent contributor to society.
When I woke up this morning and realized 30 was here, it dawned on me that I’m bringing the same me into my thirties as I was at 29 just yesterday! haha. Durrrh hey. But it was such a revelation to me! Nothing magical happens in that moment you’ve fixated on…it’s just a linear progression into the next moment. I have definitely changed between 20 and 30, but it was gradual change over time…
When I look at my shortcomings and imperfections, I look forward to that day when Christ bursts through the clouds to claim His redeemed. It’ll all be perfect then. I mean, doesn’t the Bible say that we’ll be changed in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye?! True. We’ll get new bodies. But you know, the character we’ve been forming here, the relationship we’ve been developing with God now, will just continue then. It’s really a question of “who” not “when.”
When, instead of fixating on a moment in the distant future when everything will be copacetic, I think about how to make this moment count, I gradually become the person I want to be. So even though 40’s my next big landmark and I think 40 will totally rock, I’m praying for grace to live my thirties to the max! So excited! Can’t believe it’s finally here 😀
