It’s such a crazy thing to get married, you know. I mean, you know someone for what, all of 1 or 2 or 3, maybe 5 or 6 years on the lengthy side of things…then you decide that you will spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with them! Waking up next to them…sharing toothpaste even, maybe…sharing groceries, choosing where to live, how much to spend, where to go when…perhaps even producing offspring together! And you’ve known this person for just 3yrs before all of that! Crazy!
My conclusion after pondering this insanity that overtakes humanity, is that there must be some compelling force, that prompts two individuals to choose to do something so risky. Some would call it love. I’m not certain it’s always love. But at the least, life without this other person has to seem worse than the risk of life with this person. Sometimes life with them is better. Sometimes life with them is less bad than life without them. So you take the plunge.
But then, another factor was recently introduced to my musings on this matter…Like they say, it takes two to tango. So to make a relationship work, both parties have to work on the relationship. Well, what if you wake up one day, and the person next to you doesn’t want to work on it any longer? What if 1yr into it, they just up and quit? Or 25yrs into it, they don’t want to put in the effort any longer?
That’s the scariest aspect of mawej to me, right now. Fine, it’ll be hard to meld two lives together (and harder the longer you’re single, I’m sure) but you can do it, if both of you want to do it.
What makes someone decide to stop investing in a relationship that used to mean everything to them?
I guess, in order to take the plunge and make the pledge, you’ve got to demonstrate some level of trust that you’re both in it to succeed. But the “what ifs” are real! And they’ve come true too many times to ignore 🙁 . So what do you do?
Psalm 146:3 comes to mind. Trust no-one! People will always let you down. It’s not always malicious. In fact, most times, it’s a genuine mistake. But at the end of the day, whether in malice or mistake, people will let you down.
But God. He will never fail you. If anything, we’re always failing Him. But He’ll never take back a pledge He’s made, won’t forget a promise, won’t quit on ya. We can trust Him!
Here’s what I figure. Perhaps if instead of working on their relationship, a couple worked, together and individually, on their relationship with God, then God, who never fails, will help them keep their relationship together. So that while you cannot trust your spouse, you can trust God to keep them committed to you.
Come to think of it, it’s not just your spouse you can’t trust…You can’t trust yourself!