feelings

you wake up one morning
and the world never seemed more wrong,
like an endless journey
you wonder why life must go on.

you wake up one morning
and every breath is a gift,
as beautiful as a song,
your spirits need no lift.

but come afternoon
as though good feelings knew thrift,
like perfect weather in Michigan:
“gone too soon!”

so faith can’t be feeling
for the heart can’t discern
the weight of God’s promises –
so constant, they do not turn.

so when you wake up tomorrow morning
no matter how you feel
let faith grasp God’s promised Word;
you know that’s the real deal 😉

Feelings are like Michigan weather!

Feelings are like Michigan weather!

psychology of the bouquet toss

bouquetThis year will probably be the busiest for me in terms of wedding attendance. This past Sunday, I completed my 4th out of six weddings for this year and attempted a new approach to that dreaded moment called, “the bouquet toss.”

Why brides still insist on tossing that thing must be a twisted form of revenge for all the times they had to go up for the toss before their “graduation” day of marriage. But they do not take out their revenge on those who ‘hurt’ them…no…rather, revenge is taken out on innocent bystanders, the other singles at their marriage celebration – who in turn will do the same to other singles as soon as they have a chance.

You’ve noticed how reluctantly the single ladies will rush forward for the toss (well, in some contexts…)? In general, it’s not because they don’t want to get married. Oh, no, no. Quite the contrary. It’s actually a complex interplay of social expectations and internal conflict that results in a reluctance to step up to the plate, and moreover, to jump for that bouquet.

As a single lady with a desire for the companionship that marriage affords, you’re always straddling that line between honest and desperate, both internally and externally. Externally, you don’t want to come off all desperado but then you could seem too confident and self-assured that it scares the brothers off. Internally, it’s the faith vs presumption battle – yes, God’s ideal may have been marriage for all but we aren’t quite living under ideal conditions…(ps: I think the internal balance comes at the point of trusting God and when you find that inner peace it takes care of the external struggle… – but that’s a-whole-nother entry).

My nonchalant attitude towards the toss on Sunday, combined with a hint of playfulness, completely backfired and resulted in the MC calling me out although I was already standing front and center. The playful attitude probably set me up as an easy target for jesting – I would have done the same had I been the MC! But then combine that with the fact I ended up with the bouquet in hand as it was hurriedly tossed to me by Erin who really caught it, and it made for quite the embarrassing experience. It was hilarious!

bouquet catch

What single and unattached girl wants to catch the bouquet? Especially given the inevitable questions to the effect, “when’s the wedding?” “where’s the man?” Ehm, the answer on both counts would be, “I don’t know…” It’s almost as if we were truly superstitious and believed there were some power inherent in that bouquet to predict the next bride. It’s all a joke, of course, but perhaps one that sometimes hits too close to home.

So I pronounce many blessings on those brides who remember how uncomfortable it was for them to go up for the toss and spare the single ladies the unnecessary pain. Because whether you’re attached or not, uncaring inquiries into the status of someone’s romantic enterprises really only serve as an insensitive joke at the expense of another.

As for how the nonchalant approach to the toss worked out…Well, it was a tremendous asset in the aftermath of my bouquet semi-catch! Seeing as there is no true predictive power in the bouquet toss, I’d like to invite all my single ladies to join the nonchalant club. When they make the call, walk up there with confidence and if you’re up for it, maybe even have some fun with it all. And if you carry a bouquet on your wedding day, be nice and don’t toss it 😉

 

the spider in my sink

dll

I first noticed him in there this morning. When I opened the water, he scurried to the side and I reduced the pressure to avoid washing him down the drain. As a joke, I tell people not to kill the bugs in my home, because they’re my pets. In reality, it’s just that I’d prefer to escort them out of my space if killing them can be avoided.

But this spider just wouldn’t leave the sink. All day, he hung out in there! At first I thought he was waiting for a friend with whom he’d planned a rendezvous but no guests had arrived by the afternoon. Then I figured the sides of the sink were too slippery for him to crawl out, so I helped him out of the sink, only for him to scurry back in.

Perhaps he thought it was ideal real estate to spin a web…Regardless, he was making it quite clear that he wasn’t about to leave and he seemed rather intent on settling down in my bathroom sink. Had he chosen some obscure corner in my apartment, I mightn’t have minded sharing the space. But the sink? Seriously?

It felt like I was tiptoeing around daddy long legs all day; trying not to wash him down the drain; trying to get him to leave my sink; as far as is spiderly possible, trying to get him to see the folly of his choice of a home. Finally, though, this evening, his probation closed. Since he wouldn’t leave the sink, I had to wash him down the drain.

As my leggy companion for the day disappeared down the drain, I thought about how God bears with us: How He tries to lead us in the path of life yet we keep returning to places of danger; how He waits patiently for us to trust His choices for us instead of stubbornly insisting on our own way.

And I thought about how, one day, if we persist in disregarding Him, disobeying Him, and just plain dissing Him, He will have to let us suffer the consequences of our choice for the wages of sin is death.

Because of all the time, effort and emotional energy I’d invested in getting daddy long legs safely out of my sink today, I was sad to have to wash him down the drain. Yet my disappointment is nothing compared to the grief it will cause God to have to let us go if we persist in disregarding Him. He hasn’t spent one day working on us; since the day you were born He’s been at it…and He’s still working, even now.

canvassing with the SEALs

canvassingFrom the very first time I heard canvassing stories, I knew I wanted to try it for myself! EVERYTHING about it seemed intriguing to me. Even the potential for the development of character that results from repeated rejection was enticing! But most of all, I was enthralled by the promise of legit miracles taking place right before my very eyes as I worked door-to-door. I mean, that’s the stuff of Bible times…like the book of Acts, you know.

From way back in college days when, as a venture of faith, we started the Boston Literature Evangelism Student Society (BLESS), to this day, the door-to-door work of canvassing has never failed to furnish thrilling experiences! So when we met with the leadership of SEAL Team 7 at the beginning of the summer, I expressed my desire to go out with them sometime. It was genuine.

The first time we went out, I had come to work prepared – arrived at the office so I could get some stuff done before it was time to head out and even wore a skirt! But today…Today, I didn’t plan on going out with them. It’s the first of the month so I had to close the financial books…not to mention the myriad other tasks on my plate since campmeeting and the illness that ensued.

“Come out with us, this afternoon,” was the invitation when they returned to the CAMPUS house for “lunch” at 4pm. Probably because it hadn’t been a part of my plan for the day, I was very reluctant. My resistance made no sense to me since I’m always blessed by the experience of getting out there with Jesus. Every excuse presented itself…I’m wearing jeans…I still have to close the books…I’ve been sick so maybe I’m not well enough for that kind of physical exertion yet…

Although I yielded to the invitation and found myself sitting in the van on the way out to territory, my attitude was way off – like someone was forcing me to be there and I was determined to hate every minute. That attitude does not get books out! So I prayed, and asked my prayer partner to pray for me, that I’d have a change of heart so I could just have fun out on the field.

God answers prayer! He put a song in my soul that added a skip to my step – actually, it was more like a playlist; one song after another, one door after another. Whether in rejection or small donation, He gave me the joy of service. I had some cool encounters…I even met a Wellesley student who’s gonna hook it up with a Wellesley decal for my car (I’ve been wanting one since I got my car! haha) and I hooked her up with a Great Controversy!

The only regret I had was one gentleman who was clearly interested in spiritual things. He bought a Great Controversy and a God’s Answers, but I didn’t show him any of the other spiritual books. As I stood there writing out his receipt, then as I turned to leave his door and as I walked across the grass to the next door, I was regretting closing the sale before showing him the other books. Maybe he would have wanted something else. Baaaaaaaaaah. Such an unsatisfying feeling this thing called regret!

In spite of my shortcomings; in spite of my bad attitude at the start, being out there today was so much fun, I wasn’t ready to quit when the van came around to end the evening. I felt like I was just warming up. I want to go again after work tomorrow! Except this time, I’ll go in prepared in a skirt and early enough to complete the office work before I get to out and have fun on the field.