day of disappointment

On this day one hundred and sixty-eight years ago, the founders of the Christian denomination to which I belong experienced what has come to be known as the Great Disappointment. All day and all night on the 22nd of October in 1844 they waited for Christ’s literal return…By noon of October 23, most had come to realize that He had not come.

The greater the investment, the greater the disappointment.

Many, as a testament to their faith, sold everything they had. There are stories about potato farmers who did not harvest their crop since they wouldn’t be taking potatoes with them to heaven. Jesus’ imminent return wasn’t just a nice story for them – it shaped their lives!

As the day dawned and He wasn’t there, the disappointment was great. And you know haters gonna hate irrespective of how you feel. It was awful.

My parents taught me, from an early age, to put my trust in God and since God never fails, I really haven’t experienced very many disappointments in life (a privilege I thank God for!). Yet, though I wish I could say I have never been disappointed, that would be untrue.

Individuals have failed to meet expectations I was right to place on them but that they were powerless to meet without God’s help. Apologies and confrontations are part of the healing process but there’s just no quick fix…

The worst is when you’re disappointed in yourself! Because you can’t just take a time-out from being you and deal with it later. You’re just kinda stuck with yourself, you know…

Or when nobody’s really to blame because things just didn’t turn out how you’d hoped…

Then you go from disappointment to depression and fail to see the daybreak…

There were different responses to that disappointment 168years ago. Some gave up the hope of Christ’s return altogether. Some set themselves up for more disappointments by setting future dates. Some practiced the art of the revisionist historian. But some did what we all ought to do when facing disappointment.

Some turned to the God who never fails with their broken dreams and wounded hearts. Where did we go wrong? What did we miss? How do we move forward? And God had answers for all their questionings, as He has answers for all of ours!

On this day that commemorates a great disappointment that forms a part of my Christian heritage, I am so glad to know a God who knows how to handle my disappointments! I am thankful that we do not have a high Priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities. He understands. And He will help us through our disappointments.

learning to run

About a year ago, I got myself a case of runners’ knee. Well, at least that’s what I ascertained was the problem thanks to my google diagnostic skills. Do you know how many problems I’ve solved with google?! (Oh, and did you know that “?!” is an actual punctuation mark? It’s called an interrobang – that little nugget is thanks to wikipedia 🙂 ).

As it started to get a little chilly outside, I figured it was a good time to hop off the bike and try to run again. So I downloaded an app onto my phone called…<drumroll>…Learn to Run! It takes you from half running half walking 30minutes, to running a full hour. I’m a little less than halfway through the program now, and loving it!

Although I’m nowhere close to a fast runner right now – any adult could speed walk the pace I run (or jog rather!) – it’s still enough to get my heart rate up there, while keeping my knee out of harms way. So I decided to sign up for a 5k, which took place this past Sunday. The plan was to use the race as one of my workouts thus sharing in the Team Revolution camaraderie while getting a workout in. It turned out to be a greater challenge than I’d envisioned.

All my friends doing the 5k were planning to do around a 9min/mile. My run/walk pace is more like a 14min/mile. Haha. So, I mentally prepared myself to finish last. In the end, I wasn’t quite last, but among those  who had friends waiting to cheer them as they came in.

Although I’d already determined not to race, but rather use this as one of my training runs, it was so hard to withhold myself. There were a few people I would pass up during my run time, but they would pass me during my walk time. My knee felt alright and I was tempted to run through my walk times just so I could stay ahead of them.

Additionally, chances were slim that I’d finish my entire work-out since the last workout covered a little over 4miles…If I just ran the entire time, at least wouldn’t come in last place! I know from experience that it sucks having the sweepers behind you.

At the end of the day, my greatest challenge, in summary, was learning to run my own race. The race isn’t against the person just ahead of me. The race is for me to run the right way. I hated it that I came in last in my age group. And I imagined what people must have thought of me during the walk portions of my workout.

All these insecurities plagued me for 3miles. I had to constantly remind myself to run my own race, my own way…to follow the directions from my trustee app rather than following the inclination to compete against the two obese ladies just ahead of me.

And so, I’m learning to run. Learning to run my own race with patience.